The Selphie Letters: Rinoa's Big News

[ashbear]

Guess what, the lunacy continues! Yes, the second installment of The Selphie Letters is here. Again, this series chronicles the far-fetched journey of our young FFVIII couple. It’s the story of love, romance, and randomly interchangeable fandom worlds. Find out where the action figures are headed next! Again, these particular pictures were taken years ago by Wayward Tempest and I… be warned.  Also, please do not consider this my ability to write dramatic pieces, I just love taking a break to do something beyond my normal scope. Plus, you know, play with action figures!

The Selphie Letters: Rinoa’s Big News

Dear Selphie,

OMG! I have sooo much to tell you. Wait, did I actually just write out OMG, is that weird? I’m not sure… Anyway, OMG you will so totally not believe it. I mean really, really not believe it! First, I have to tell you about what happened on Squall’s cooking show. Remember last week I told you that Cloud Strife was going to be a guest on Kitchen Call, with Chef Squall? Yeah, I’m not sure how the station manager made it happen. Somebody must be sleeping with somebody somewhere, but again, sooo not the point. 

Anyway Squall couldn’t get to bed the night before, you would swear he was like an eager kid waiting to open birthday presents morning. I was about to whack him in the head with a Dragon Fin. Seriously, dear Shiva on a stick, why did we ever buy a waterbed!? Every time he tosses or turns it’s like a typhoon or, well, you know, a really monstrous squall.

Sorry bad, bad pun. I’ll behave.

After what seemed like a millennia, I finally knocked him out with a damn Sleep Spell. I mean… there is only so much a sorceress can take. No wonder Ultimecia was pissed, her knight must have bought a damn waterbed on their anniversary. And that is the real reason she no longer had a knight!

Okay, back to my story. We get to the studio and there is this omniscient glow as Cloud makes his way over the steely horizon, oceans part, birds sing in glorious harmony, and peace is restored throughout the universe. NOT.

So there I am looking down at Mr. Strife. No, not because I think I’m better than him by any means, I mean literally looking down on him. HE IS SO SHORT. I’m sorry, that’s not correct anymore…he is vertically challenged, even more so than you Selphie! So the show is about to start and the guy can’t even reach the stove! Well my boyfriend, in all his infinite SeeD wisdom says, “Hey, grab that pot hanging on the wall.” So quickly before going on air, we make Cloud stand on a pot to reach the stove.

I could not stop laughing the entire time. I am such a bad, bad person. You know I’m not normally, but I think sleep deprivation was taking a heavy toll on me. I know Squall got really annoyed when I asked, “What is today’s special – maybe shortbread or strawberry shortcake? Possibly just a short stack of pancakes?” Yeah, I was on a roll, there was no stopping that (Doom)train from leaving the station. Here is Squall’s 'Legendary Idol' and then I proceed to ask on air, “Squall, why so short tempered today?” You should seen the death glare I got. *snicker*

Don’t get me wrong, Cloud was a gentleman. I apologized later and he didn’t’ seemed bothered at all. I guess we all know why he carries such a big sword. Again, bad, Rinoa, bad. In all fairness, Cloud did have a wonderful recipe for breaded Toad legs. Apparently, on his journey, he and his friends had some run-ins with toads or something. I guess it’s kinda like Squall and Chocobos, everybody has their nemesis greater than they are. But really boys, yellow birds and green frogs? Where’s the Blue Dragons or Red Propagators? Add in purple horseshoes and you’d get a breakfast cereal that is magically delicious. I’m sure both of the guys would be scared of that also.

Wusses, both of them. You know how much I love Squall, but he just can irritate me at times. I know I irritate him too, which is why we are perfect together.

This leads me to the next thing that I must tell you. Yes, there was another guest that week. And wow, I mean just… WOW. His name was Dante, some son of Sparta or something. I’m not sure if that Sparta guy is a GF or what, BUT WHO CARES - THE MAN WAS HOT. Now you know I love Squall more than life itself, but ,why oh why, didn’t Dante show us his sword? That would be something worth writing home about! I think Squall caught onto my…um…temporary insanity lust. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty. Chef Squall then forced Dante to make the “Short stack of pancakes” I had joked earlier about with Cloud. Oh yeah, there were some manly issues at play.

Squall even caught Dante’s coat on fire by ‘accident.’ Yeah, I heard him utter the Firaga spell under his breath – it was not the random spontaneous combustion my boyfriend tried to get me to believe. Again just like Cloud, Dante was cool about the whole thing. I’m not sure though after this week if Squall’s going to manage to get a guest cook again. The picture wasn’t as good as the others, because we were trying not to use Petrify on each other in the background.

Anyway, this ‘Dante incident’ led us to jealous petty arguing. I know it’s hard to believe Squall and I …fighting. Never. *cough* Well, anyway that night as I’m brushing my teeth, Squall comes in the bathroom and says: Yeah…whatever…we’re getting married.

SO WE’RE GETTING MARRIED! It was the most unromantic proposal ever as I was spitting hunks of used toothpaste into the sink, but dear Hyne, I love him! I still can’t believe it! He doesn’t want to have a big wedding; you know what a Gil pincher he can be. So we are heading to Florida and getting married down there. I wish everyone could be with us, but I need to get him down there before he changes his mind! Or he sees a Chocobo crossing the road…hehe.

Please tell everybody the news for us!

I love and miss you guys,

Rinoa (Soon to be Leonhart) Heartilly

PS: Tell Irvine that I received the thank-you card for the flowers we sent his ponytail.  Those were possibly the most eloquently written words I have ever read. The sonnet about his hair ‘throughout the passing seasons’ was just - beautiful. I’m thinking about tweaking a few lines here and there and using his poem for my wedding vows. The man is pure literary genius!